A Gentleman

Last month my youngest son was upset that the cartoon pig Olivia does not wear pants. He said he didn't want to see her 'lady parts'. I asked do you know what the lady parts are called? He said ummhmm, 'a Hynie'

Nicky Has it All Locked UP!

On the way home, Nicky says to me, "My friend taught me how to get all the girls" I say, "how do you do that?" He replies, "you have to be smooth and cool" OK, so I say, "And just how do you do that?" Nicky says "to be cool, u have to practice dancing & play games with guys & to be smooth, you have to wash your hands and never tell lies" All I could say was "yup, that'll do it." SMH

Now That You Are All Caught Up...

My children are the funniest people I know. They are smart and quirky. (and sometimes odd). I love them. However, one of these days "Pow, right to the moon!" Just kidding! :-\

I hope you will stay tuned to all of things I have to deal with on a regular basis. They inspire me to be better. They give us all something to think about because of the way they view the world. Nothing gets past Xa, he is like a sponge. He remembers everything and has a special ability to regurgitate it when he is working it into his plans. Nicky is the youngest but the 'old man'. He is surely Holy Ghost filled but with a smart mouth. All of that mixed in with the "little kid" thing of speaking his mind is a volatile situation waiting to happen.

They are themselves and you've got to love 'em!

Distraction Needed

My sister had to distract the little one. He got mad at this guy and said "imma break this stick..."
Lord only knows how he was going to finish THAT statement; over a head, off up in someting...who knows.
He's odd and old.

The Nerve!

So I'm driving and from the back seat my son is mumbling something. So, I say I can't understand your words. this little man in a booster seat and in a hat with floppy ears and only 3 adult teeth in his mouth, sighs and in an exasperated voice says "It's always going to be the same" I can just hear him shaking his head as if I'm getting on HIS nerves! The nerve! The he proceeds to say it very slow like I'M slow!

Perfect Strangers

I told Nicky that I wont play hungry, hungry hippo with my him because he cheats. He got sad and said the he was "THE SWEAT OF THE PIG, THE PAIN OF THE HEADACHE" then he walked out of the room with his head down. where is he from?

Nickyism

Egg shells taste like walls. (when has he eaten egg shells?!)!

Nickyism

It snows everyday in 'Art-anti-ca' he makes me shake my head ALL the time.

Weed Indeed

You know it is time to move when... son says; "Mama did you know that people share cigarettes? I saw them sharing one outside" I say; "oh ok, so baby do you want to have a brownie and watch cartoons?"

Hair Puller

Why do my children instist on calling the 'big toe' a 'thumb toe"??? it drives me crazy!

Sucker

My 6 year old asked me to order the Bosley hair restoration kit because his dad cuts his hair and he'd like for it to grow back! He is a sucker for infomercials, just like his mother and grandmother! Somebody help me!

His Ignorance is My Bliss

My 6 year old (who by the way thinks he was born by Cesarean - just not ready to have THAT talk yet) said that babies are attached to their mommy's by the 'Ability' cord.

Is He Stealing???!!

My child's lunch account balance hasn't moved in over a week. I think he may be just walking out with food! I know he's eating, but obviously he's not paying. wow.

English is Full of Exceptions!

my son was confused & a bit mifted, because the word "does" did not, in his opinion, follow the rule "when two vowels go walk, the first vowels does the talking (and says it's name)" soo cute.

Hola

My kids are speaking spanish from a cartoon and I don't know what they are talking about. Guess I'll be watching "The Wild" and going to an online translator tonight.

Sponge

WOW! Just learned something odd. My son recognized a french town and street as we are watching public TV off of a Grand Turismo video game. My child is wonderful! He also said he was listening to EWF at the time. I LOVE that he is not like other kids!

Guess Who

My son does not listen. Not in a 'bad' sort of way but in a not interested sort of way. We are in the grocery store looking for throwback Pepsis. He sees one in the gold box and said this must be the 'pro bowl' one (throwback Jerseys). We tell him it's caffeine free. We get home & I give him lemonade. He asks if i...t was the one without 'gasoline' gasoline = caffeine-SMH! Somebody help me!

Shaking My Head...

Nicky - "sitting on the toilet is a great place to clean in between your toes". SMH!

Not Funny!

Xa asked little Nicky what year was Mom born. Nicky said - 1. He makes me sick! lol!

Lady's Man

Nicky - "Mama, did you do good at work today?", Me - "yes, I did", Nick - "then you get an incentive for being good, and guess what it is!", Me - "what?", Nick "lots of hugs & kisses!" ~~ AWWWWW!!!! (melting heart)

I'm the Best But...

Nicky said that he loves me and his grandma the same but for different reasons. "grandma is sweet & nice & cooks good, and you are nice & cook good". I said what happened to sweet? he said "Moooom? spankings?" like don't you remember that takes you out of the sweet category all together!! ~~ Wow!

Catch-Up With Xa and Nicky

Nicky-ism: the boys are laying on the couch under the cover. One at each end. Xa is all stretched out reading a book. Nicky is playing with dinosaures, stretched out as well. Suddenly, I hear Nicky say "Hey Xa get you feet off of my 'chicken tenders' " All I could do was leave the room. I don't know what to do with him!

Catch-Up With Xa and Nicky

My children not only wake up weirdly, but they sleep walk. Today when I woke Xa up to get ready for school, as he changed his socks, he told me that Nicky's tooth some how got in there. I'm rushing to inspect Nicky's mouth, looking for a bloody, pulpy hole. I found nothing missing. I look over at my standing, still sleep child and ask him to hand me the 'tooth'. Which turned out to be a piece of french fry. Just another morning with my boys...

Catch-Up With Xa and Nicky

It seems that when you are about to get married, you become a ve-yonce! Are you supposed to dance, sing or wear a ring?
and
If you are affected with that childhood disease, it is known as chicken poffs!

Catch-Up With Xa and Nicky

I learned that Johnny Depp starred in "Pirates of Diabetes."

I learned how to make Xavier mad with an apology song (has to be sung in a monotoned voice - "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I guess I really blew it, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, accidents do happen, they happen everyday." LMBO!!!

I learned that if I wanted to see TWO lizards it is entirely possible, but only because I have TWO eyes. Evidentally the number of like objects you can see is in direct corolation to the number of eyes you have.

Catch-Up With Xa and Nicky

As a one armed man swept the floor of the laundry room, I hear this in an unreal loud voice--"Ma can I help him sweep, you know he only has one arm, he needs help"

As an African man repeatedly tells me something in an accent so heavy that I have to just giggle and pretend to understand, I hear a voice saying this in an out of this world loud voice-- "Ma, do you know what he is saying? He must be speaking Spanish!"

As we are standing in line behind a 'ahem' manly dressed women, I say let's get in line behind her. What do I hear in a bust your ear drums loud voice --"That is not a lady!!"

And that's when I say "Yes officer, that is my son, but I had to pretend that I didn't know him, so I wont get into an altercation every time we go out!"